Two decades and six years.

I remember Egypt. I was there in 2010 with my sister. Historical place. Kind people. Interesting culture. If there is one word to describe my trip to Egypt, it would be a real BLESSING. I was there at the time of President Mubarak. And what is happening in Egypt right now is just plain heart-breaking :'( May Allah give President Morsi of Egypt the strength, courage and patience to go through these tough times. May Allah protect the righteous and innocence people in the country. May Allah give them victory. Allahumma Aamiin.

On a different note, I officially turned two decades and six years old on July 6th. My baby sister is twelve today. Alhamdulillah thumma Alhamdulillah. Thank You Allah for Your Entire Blessings. You have given me so much. You have never failed me. Regardless of the countless times I fall, Your Mercy still remains. You, the One who was there for me when everything and everyone else deserted me. You, the Only One who truly understands me. I am where I am today because of You. All that I was, all that I am, and all that I will ever be, is from You.

I hope and pray that my heart will always want to be close to You. I hope and pray that I will never give up on You. I hope and pray that I will do what I do for Your Sake and Only Your sake alone.

One fine evening in Egypt in June 2010. We were on top of a Jabal (mountain) overlooking a stunning view of the city. 

Until next time, insyaAllah. Assalamualaikum.

xxoo

Little things, big difference.

I once read a story about an old man and the seashells. It goes something like this: one day, a young man saw the old man walking by the shore, picking each seashell that he saw on the shore and putting it back into the sea. The young man asked the old man:

Young man: Dear old man, there thousands and more little seashells lying by the shore. It's impossible to save them all. Why are you doing what you're doing dear old man?

Old man: Young man, I may not be able to save them all. But I'm making a difference. By putting each seashell back into the sea, I know I am making a difference to the little creature's life. Each seashell counts.

Moral of the story: Small things count. Small things can make a big difference.

I want to be like the old man. I want to make a difference. I hope to make a difference. People may take for granted what I do, people may not appreciate what I do, but hey, it doesn't matter. I can try to live with that. Allah SWT is the Most Appreciative. He won't let one single effort that I make in order to please Him goes to waste. I know He won't :) And enough is Allah for me. May Allah make it easy for me to do my work, to earn a living, for His sake and only His sake alone. To gain His redha is my ultimate aim. He is my ultimate goal.

Ya Rabb, no matter how hard this life may get, please make me not give up on myself, please make me not give up on You. Aamiin.

Until next time, insyaAllah. Salaams xxx

Dear Stranger

Dear Stranger,

Salaams and hello. I met you yesterday. It was a rainy Saturday. Your hair was short and it suits you just well. Your white shirt was smartly tucked in your dark pants. You had pen and papers in your hands. Ready to note down whatever that was necessary. I have to admit, you are a good-looking stranger. I especially like to see the shape of your face. Unique in its own way, in my opinion.

I would like to think that you are good inside; as good as you look on the outside. And I would like to think that I am right on this. May Allah bless you at all times.

Goodbye stranger. It was nice meeting you :)

The one who hopes to not see you again,

Zati J.

"What is taken by Allah is NEVER lost" - Yasmin Mogahed

Today is the 3rd of Muharram 1433. Alhamdullilah, another year, another opportunity to be a better slave of Allah. Marhaban 1433! A lot has been going on. A real lot. Something very special and precious was stolen from me. I wasn't home when it was stolen. It happened during one of the weekdays. I remember exactly the date and day when it happened - Tuesday, November 8th. A day after Aidiladha celebration. How can I forget...

After work, I had pizzas with the cousins after which I went to Jame mosque for maghreb prayer. There was a few number of miss calls and a text message from mama. I was worried. In my mind, she must had something important to tell. Otherwise, she wouldn't call me again and again. Oh, I forgot. Earlier that day, I received a wall post from adik. She posted a sad face :( on my wall. I was worried. I had no idea what was that about. So when I received a few number of miss calls from mama, I thought something happen to adik. I gave mama a call. I remember she asked where I was. Then she told about my stolen stuff and about what happened to our home. I also remember she said something, "Redha kan saja". I was okay at first but slowly tears fell down my cheeks. I cried. I couldn't help it. I remember telling myself to calm down.

12th September 2007 - 8th November 2011. I had it for quite a long time. Had it with me for all the years while I was in university. Blessed, alhamdullilah. Allah knows what is best for me and enough is Allah for me. I know and I believe with all my heart that whatever had happened or will happen is all good for me. Allah is the One who created me from nothing to something. Allah is the One who loves me best like no others. Allah is the One who gives me everything that I need. He is the One who is the Most Kind, the Most Loving, the Most Merciful. He does not take anything away from me except that He meant something good for me. He does not take anything away from me to see me suffer or in pain. He only does what He does to help me, to give me the opportunity to be near to Him so that in my heart there will only be Him :)

It was saddening at first. When I tried to digest the information, and to learn of the fact that it was gone... just like that. That was saddening. But when I remember that everything will be gone eventually; all will diminish; not a single thing will last, my heart was at peace again even though there was still a few drop of tears flowing down my cheeks. Alhamdullilah thumma alhamdullilah. Thank You Allah for everything. Everything :)

"No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that" - Prophet Muhammad S.A.W (reported in Bukhari)

"Don't be sad if He separates you from something/someone you love. If only we knew about His plans, our hearts would melt with the warmth of His love" - Unknown

Until next time, insyaAllah. Good night. Salaams xx

How to love?

"You had a lot of moments that didn't last forever,

Now you in the corner tryna put it together,

How to love?"

That's lil Wayne asking how to love. Do you know how to love?

What I know is this: To love someone is to love yourself first. And to love yourself is to love your Creator :)

Personally, I'm still trying to love Him the way I should be loving Him. For how can I expect to feel the pleasure of being in love with someone if I don't have love in my heart for Him who created LOVE. I believe that when the right time comes, He who is the Most Loving, will show me the way to the one who will show me how to love :) If not in this world, maybe in the afterlife.

May He give me and you the strength to love Him more and more each day.

Big love. Salaams xx

Salahkah aku?

A sad yet beautiful piece of song. But again, sad.

Salahkah Aku - Fakhrul Razi by Adi Rani

Kalau inda mau sakit, bercintalah kerana Allah. InsyaAllah, akan dihadirkan Nya ketenangan saat gelisah; akan dihadirkan Nya kekuatan saat lemah. And yang paling penting jua, bercinta kerana Allah membawa ke syurga, insyaAllah :) Siuk kan kalau dapat sama orang-orang yang kita sayang bukan saja di dunia yang sekejap ani tapi di sana yang kekal abadi jua?

Salaams xxx

If you have Allah, you have everything

SubhanAllah. Alhamdullilah. Allahuakbar.

Indahnya segala aturan Mu, ya Allah. Sangat indah. Aku mohon pada Mu agar Engkau kurniakan diri ku keupayaan untuk sentiasa redha dengan segala yang telah Engkau aturkan buat ku. Kerana sungguh Engkau yang menciptakan diri ku daripada tiada kepada ada, dan hanya Engkaulah yang Maha Mengetahui segala yang terbaik buat diri ku. Diri ku hanya insan yang lemah lagi hina, tidak mempunyai pengetahuan tentang apa apa melainkan apa yang Engkau izinkan untuk aku mengetahuinya.

Ya Allah, bila hati ini dilanda kesedihan, aku mohon agar Engkau kurniakan aku kekuatkan untuk menghadapi kesedihan itu dengan tabah. Bila hati ini dilanda perasaan marah, aku mohon agar Engkau kurniakan aku kesabaran agar dapat ku kawal perasaan marah ku. Bila hati ini dilanda perasaan rindu, aku mohon agar Engkau lindungi aku daripada merinduinya melebihi rindu ku kepada Mu dan kepada Nabi Muhammad SAW. Bila hati ini terasa ingin berputus asa, aku mohon agar Engkau kirimkan aku semangat untuk meneruskan perjuangan di dunia yang sementara ini.

Saratkan hati ku dengan cinta dan rindu buat Mu. Aku ingin, sangat ingin, agar dapat kembali kepada Mu dalam keadaan Engkau redha dengan diri ku. Aku ingin, sangat ingin, agar dapat bersua dengan kekasih Mu, Nabi Muhammad SAW. Izinkan aku mati dalam keadaan aku beriman kepada Mu, wahai Tuhan sekalian alam. Aamiin.