Drowned, drowned in dunia...

Salaam wrb,

MasyaAllah, it has been so long since the last time I posted anything here. Alhamdulillah, I am so thankful to be able to login into my account and write something still. Something for anyone to ponder upon and take lessons from, insyaAllah. Anyone who come by and stumble upon this page.

It is year 2017 now. Allahu... how fast times fly. This year I will hit the big 3, if Allah wills, insyaAllah. I hope the times I spent in this world will be something beneficial for me in the Hereafter, when I stand before my Lord, Allah.

For the past few months, I was so occupied with work. I was so occupied that I did not take my prayers seriously. I forgot how many rakaat I was in my prayers. I even forgot to pray at times. Allahu... how selfish I was really. When times were difficult, I prayed my heart out. When things went my way; when things were easy, I took my prayers lightly. I was getting further and further away from the One who loves me the most like no others. I did not recite the Quran as much as I used to. I did not do my sunat prayers as much as I would like to. My night prayers were non-existence. The dunia has the best of me. It consumed me so much that my relationship with my Lord was on the loose. Allahu... I have no one else to blame but myself. My Lord was never far and will never be far. I was the one who moved. Away. 

But Allahu... Allah is the Most Merciful, the unimaginably kind. Regardless of the countless number of times I failed myself, His Mercy remains. One fine day in the final week of February, there were just too much happening in the office. Too much happening at the same time for me to digest. I was trying to keep my cool the whole day in the office. At the end of the day, I drove home from work crying. I was extremely exhausted with what was happening; exhausted of trying to feel okay that I eventually broke down in tears all the way home. I cried harder when I reached home. I did not know what to do. I had shower and did my maghreb prayer. I cried in my sujod so hard. Asking for Allah to calm and guide my beating heart to His right path. I forgot how beautiful it was to ask from Allah for something so bad until tears rolled down these cheeks. I forgot how blessed I was to be born a Muslim and have Allah to turn to at all times. I forgot how meaningful and magical prayers were. I forgot... until that day I cried so hard in my maghreb prayer, once again. Finally. Alhamdulillah.

I was blessed enough to go through what I had gone through that day. Otherwise, I would still probably be lost in dunia; be occupied with work until I neglected my responsibilities as Allah's servant. The one thing that has taken me further away from Allah was actually the one thing that made me cried so hard in my prayers. I am thankful for the opportunity to still be able to raise my hands and make doa(s) until today. Alhamdullilah 'ala qulli hal.

To anyone who stumble upon this page, I would like to kindly advise you to not make your work or any other worldly matters your priority over the One who created you from nothing to something that you are today. Do not be like me. If you feel like you have gone far away from Allah, please do not give up. You just need to move closer. Slowly but surely, make the effort to be closer. He will never let your efforts go to waste. He is too Kind to do so. 

I hope and pray that Allah will guide us all the way; show us the way to His right path. Let the day we return to Him be the best day of our lives. May He allows us to be amongst His beloved ones. May we be amongst those who get to meet our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). Aamiin.

Until next time,
xoxo

Amazed by You

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Kind,

All praises be due to Allah, the Creator of all things,

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdullilah. No amount of Alhamdullilah will ever be enough for me to express my thankfulness to Allah, the Lord of the world. 

On June 1st to June 10th, I went on a trip to Australia with amazing people. The ten-days trip started off in Gold Coast Australia where by His will, I witnessed amazing nature. From a sea of blue called the Surfers Beach Paradise to a massive land full of green trees, mountains and a waterfall called the Spring Brook Falls. Just simply mesmerizing scenery. Breathtakingly beautiful. None can create such a beautiful thing but Allah alone. Allahuakbar. I am forever grateful for the opportunity. Thank You Allah.

From Gold Coast, we moved on to Sydney. Immediately I was reminded of Manchester when I first stepped foot in the city. Sydney gave me a rainy welcome. Koalas, kangaroos, crocodiles, lizards, snakes… I saw them all. What a perfect creation Allah created. Each and every one of them. Had a day trip to Jenolan caves via the Blue mountains. Went inside a cave named Lucas Cave. For the countless number of times, I was amazed with Allah's creations. The natural limestone inside the cave, the blue colored lake. Allahu. So beautiful. How blue the lake really was, just… beautiful. All my life, I thought I have seen and known very well how the color blue look like. Blue. Yes, blue. It was never such a big deal. But the blue lake I saw in Sydney was really something different. Another shade of blue which I have never seen before. Just… again beautiful. I am lost for words on how to describe it. Blue is never the same again now.

The last stop before heading home was Melbourne. While Sydney reminded me of Manchester, Melbourne reminded me of London. Had a long day trip on a small coach along the Great Ocean Road to the Twelve Great Apostles, Loch Arc Gorge in Port Campbell National Park, Victoria and the surfers coast. Yet again, I was blown away by the beauty of what I saw. Allahuakbar. 

Australia was amazing and at the same time, beautifully tiring. Alhamdulillah. Safely landed in bumi bertuah, Brunei Darussalam, on a fine Wednesday evening, on June 11th. Only reached KB on Thursday night. I have to say, regardless of how much I love traveling, nothing can beat that feeling of relieve when the airplane touch down in that place where your heart was, is, and will always be, home. Spent the precious three days after that in KB before heading for Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for a course. 

Today is my final day in Kuala Lumpur. As I look outside the window from level 13 of the hotel that I am currently staying at, I cannot help but be grateful for everything. Alhamdulillah. Moga Allah redha.

xxoo

Two decades and six years.

I remember Egypt. I was there in 2010 with my sister. Historical place. Kind people. Interesting culture. If there is one word to describe my trip to Egypt, it would be a real BLESSING. I was there at the time of President Mubarak. And what is happening in Egypt right now is just plain heart-breaking :'( May Allah give President Morsi of Egypt the strength, courage and patience to go through these tough times. May Allah protect the righteous and innocence people in the country. May Allah give them victory. Allahumma Aamiin.

On a different note, I officially turned two decades and six years old on July 6th. My baby sister is twelve today. Alhamdulillah thumma Alhamdulillah. Thank You Allah for Your Entire Blessings. You have given me so much. You have never failed me. Regardless of the countless times I fall, Your Mercy still remains. You, the One who was there for me when everything and everyone else deserted me. You, the Only One who truly understands me. I am where I am today because of You. All that I was, all that I am, and all that I will ever be, is from You.

I hope and pray that my heart will always want to be close to You. I hope and pray that I will never give up on You. I hope and pray that I will do what I do for Your Sake and Only Your sake alone.

One fine evening in Egypt in June 2010. We were on top of a Jabal (mountain) overlooking a stunning view of the city. 

Until next time, insyaAllah. Assalamualaikum.

xxoo

Little things, big difference.

I once read a story about an old man and the seashells. It goes something like this: one day, a young man saw the old man walking by the shore, picking each seashell that he saw on the shore and putting it back into the sea. The young man asked the old man:

Young man: Dear old man, there thousands and more little seashells lying by the shore. It's impossible to save them all. Why are you doing what you're doing dear old man?

Old man: Young man, I may not be able to save them all. But I'm making a difference. By putting each seashell back into the sea, I know I am making a difference to the little creature's life. Each seashell counts.

Moral of the story: Small things count. Small things can make a big difference.

I want to be like the old man. I want to make a difference. I hope to make a difference. People may take for granted what I do, people may not appreciate what I do, but hey, it doesn't matter. I can try to live with that. Allah SWT is the Most Appreciative. He won't let one single effort that I make in order to please Him goes to waste. I know He won't :) And enough is Allah for me. May Allah make it easy for me to do my work, to earn a living, for His sake and only His sake alone. To gain His redha is my ultimate aim. He is my ultimate goal.

Ya Rabb, no matter how hard this life may get, please make me not give up on myself, please make me not give up on You. Aamiin.

Until next time, insyaAllah. Salaams xxx

Dear Stranger

Dear Stranger,

Salaams and hello. I met you yesterday. It was a rainy Saturday. Your hair was short and it suits you just well. Your white shirt was smartly tucked in your dark pants. You had pen and papers in your hands. Ready to note down whatever that was necessary. I have to admit, you are a good-looking stranger. I especially like to see the shape of your face. Unique in its own way, in my opinion.

I would like to think that you are good inside; as good as you look on the outside. And I would like to think that I am right on this. May Allah bless you at all times.

Goodbye stranger. It was nice meeting you :)

The one who hopes to not see you again,

Zati J.

"What is taken by Allah is NEVER lost" - Yasmin Mogahed

Today is the 3rd of Muharram 1433. Alhamdullilah, another year, another opportunity to be a better slave of Allah. Marhaban 1433! A lot has been going on. A real lot. Something very special and precious was stolen from me. I wasn't home when it was stolen. It happened during one of the weekdays. I remember exactly the date and day when it happened - Tuesday, November 8th. A day after Aidiladha celebration. How can I forget...

After work, I had pizzas with the cousins after which I went to Jame mosque for maghreb prayer. There was a few number of miss calls and a text message from mama. I was worried. In my mind, she must had something important to tell. Otherwise, she wouldn't call me again and again. Oh, I forgot. Earlier that day, I received a wall post from adik. She posted a sad face :( on my wall. I was worried. I had no idea what was that about. So when I received a few number of miss calls from mama, I thought something happen to adik. I gave mama a call. I remember she asked where I was. Then she told about my stolen stuff and about what happened to our home. I also remember she said something, "Redha kan saja". I was okay at first but slowly tears fell down my cheeks. I cried. I couldn't help it. I remember telling myself to calm down.

12th September 2007 - 8th November 2011. I had it for quite a long time. Had it with me for all the years while I was in university. Blessed, alhamdullilah. Allah knows what is best for me and enough is Allah for me. I know and I believe with all my heart that whatever had happened or will happen is all good for me. Allah is the One who created me from nothing to something. Allah is the One who loves me best like no others. Allah is the One who gives me everything that I need. He is the One who is the Most Kind, the Most Loving, the Most Merciful. He does not take anything away from me except that He meant something good for me. He does not take anything away from me to see me suffer or in pain. He only does what He does to help me, to give me the opportunity to be near to Him so that in my heart there will only be Him :)

It was saddening at first. When I tried to digest the information, and to learn of the fact that it was gone... just like that. That was saddening. But when I remember that everything will be gone eventually; all will diminish; not a single thing will last, my heart was at peace again even though there was still a few drop of tears flowing down my cheeks. Alhamdullilah thumma alhamdullilah. Thank You Allah for everything. Everything :)

"No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that" - Prophet Muhammad S.A.W (reported in Bukhari)

"Don't be sad if He separates you from something/someone you love. If only we knew about His plans, our hearts would melt with the warmth of His love" - Unknown

Until next time, insyaAllah. Good night. Salaams xx

How to love?

"You had a lot of moments that didn't last forever,

Now you in the corner tryna put it together,

How to love?"

That's lil Wayne asking how to love. Do you know how to love?

What I know is this: To love someone is to love yourself first. And to love yourself is to love your Creator :)

Personally, I'm still trying to love Him the way I should be loving Him. For how can I expect to feel the pleasure of being in love with someone if I don't have love in my heart for Him who created LOVE. I believe that when the right time comes, He who is the Most Loving, will show me the way to the one who will show me how to love :) If not in this world, maybe in the afterlife.

May He give me and you the strength to love Him more and more each day.

Big love. Salaams xx

Salahkah aku?

A sad yet beautiful piece of song. But again, sad.

Salahkah Aku - Fakhrul Razi by Adi Rani

Kalau inda mau sakit, bercintalah kerana Allah. InsyaAllah, akan dihadirkan Nya ketenangan saat gelisah; akan dihadirkan Nya kekuatan saat lemah. And yang paling penting jua, bercinta kerana Allah membawa ke syurga, insyaAllah :) Siuk kan kalau dapat sama orang-orang yang kita sayang bukan saja di dunia yang sekejap ani tapi di sana yang kekal abadi jua?

Salaams xxx

If you have Allah, you have everything

SubhanAllah. Alhamdullilah. Allahuakbar.

Indahnya segala aturan Mu, ya Allah. Sangat indah. Aku mohon pada Mu agar Engkau kurniakan diri ku keupayaan untuk sentiasa redha dengan segala yang telah Engkau aturkan buat ku. Kerana sungguh Engkau yang menciptakan diri ku daripada tiada kepada ada, dan hanya Engkaulah yang Maha Mengetahui segala yang terbaik buat diri ku. Diri ku hanya insan yang lemah lagi hina, tidak mempunyai pengetahuan tentang apa apa melainkan apa yang Engkau izinkan untuk aku mengetahuinya.

Ya Allah, bila hati ini dilanda kesedihan, aku mohon agar Engkau kurniakan aku kekuatkan untuk menghadapi kesedihan itu dengan tabah. Bila hati ini dilanda perasaan marah, aku mohon agar Engkau kurniakan aku kesabaran agar dapat ku kawal perasaan marah ku. Bila hati ini dilanda perasaan rindu, aku mohon agar Engkau lindungi aku daripada merinduinya melebihi rindu ku kepada Mu dan kepada Nabi Muhammad SAW. Bila hati ini terasa ingin berputus asa, aku mohon agar Engkau kirimkan aku semangat untuk meneruskan perjuangan di dunia yang sementara ini.

Saratkan hati ku dengan cinta dan rindu buat Mu. Aku ingin, sangat ingin, agar dapat kembali kepada Mu dalam keadaan Engkau redha dengan diri ku. Aku ingin, sangat ingin, agar dapat bersua dengan kekasih Mu, Nabi Muhammad SAW. Izinkan aku mati dalam keadaan aku beriman kepada Mu, wahai Tuhan sekalian alam. Aamiin.

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan

Your presence was very much missed ya Ramadhan. Alhamdullilah thumma alhamdullilah, we meet again this year. Welcome Ramadhan 1432.

"Sekiranya umatku mengetahui kebaikan di dalam bulan Ramdhan nescaya mereka menginginkan agar sepanjang tahun semuanya menjadi Ramadhan." - Al-Hadis

Sabda Nabi Muhammad SAW: "Permulaan Ramadhan adalah rahmat, pertengahannya adalah pengampunan, manakala akhirnya merupakan pelepasan dari seksa nereka."

SubhanAllah, so blessed is this month of Ramadhan. Let's us all grab this opportunity to collect as many good deeds as we possibly can, to seek to be closed to Him, to gain His redha. Make this year Ramadhan count, let's!!! :)




I hope you will like the above as much as I do. Such a happy and cute piece of song. Salaams Ramadhan Kareem :) Please forgive any of my wrongdoings xxx

A light in the dark

Just when I thought I had a bad start to my day. My nasi was almost hangus (not because I don't know how to cook nasi but because I forgot to check on it while I was outside). And then my supposed to be half-boiled egg for breakfast didn't turn out to be the way I wanted it to be. It turned out to be fully boiled instead. So instead of having half-boiled, I had fully-boiled egg for breakfast. And I thought to myself while peeling the egg shell, "baru jua pagi..."

And then my phone rang. The screen showed number I'm not familiar with. Answered the phone and boy, I was speechless after I hung up. I can't describe in words what I was feeling right then. I was happy, scared, thankful, nervous, excited at the same time. It all mixed up together. It was like when I saw a person who I had a crush on. That feeling of seeing that one person you like and you then would get all cold and hot inside. It was like that.

Despite the mixed feeling, praises be to the One Who is The Most High, The Most Powerful. He makes the Most of Excellent Decisions. Whatever it is that He has given me or will give me, I believe it is for my best.

Salaams xxx

PS: You know that phrase "good things come to people who patiently wait", well guess what? It's true. Patient and not giving up are crucial ingredients to success. You need to have both. Not just one. I know sometimes it's just so hard to remain patient and not give up. When things just go all wrong, and there are all too much for you to take. You feeling all hopeless and unworthy. That is when you need to be EXTRA strong, try EXTRA more, and pray EXTRA hard. Just never lose hope. Allah is always there. Always close. Have faith in Him, and smile (:

Farewell 23!

In the end of the day, those who matter most to me are always those who would still love me the best even when I am at my very worst. They are those who would never give up on me even when I feel like giving up on myself. They are those who would shower me with words of encouragement when I am weak. They are those who would tell me "everything will be okay" when things are not okay. They are those who would still care for me even when I tell them to go away. They are those whom I loved with all my heart. They are my precious two, beloved annoying siblings, family and true friends. I am everything I am today because they loved me.

Above all those, praises be to the One who gives me this life. My fragile heart beats because of Him. He who gives me my precious two, my family and friends. He who gives me everything that I need. Alhamdullilah thumma alhamdullilah. I am not even a tiny piece of dust without Him. I belong to Him and only to Him I shall return.

23 has changed me. Alhamdullilah. It is time to say goodbye to 23 now!

Here is to 24!

Salaams :) xxx

Funny people

Matluthfi makes me smile! :)
I love anything that can make me smile.
Hence I love matluthfi. **eh?**
(Okay, I know my conclusion does not follow my reason. A fallacy detected)
Nonetheless, I still think he is a genius.
May he continue to make awesome meaningful videos.
And may Allah SWT bless him for always.

This is my very own personal favourite from him (for now at least). Excellent video. Honest, true, funny. The message is there. Clear and simple to follow. And boy, he sure has a real sense of humour.



"Dulu masa kecik kecik, bila tengok ceta ceta cinta kan... mak saya akan tanya; nanti besar nak kahwin ngan sapa? saya akan jawab; nak kahwin ngan mama." "wawawa... masa tu memang tak matang."

Big Lol.

Salaams :)

You smile, I smile :)

When you smile from the heart, your eyes will smile too :)

TRY.

Salaams :) xxx

Redha Mu adalah segalanya

"Takkan kau rasai indahnya cinta; andai tiada cinta buat Yang Esa"

Deep.

I just finished reading one lengthy article on love/couple/boyfriends/girlfriends. Thought I'd just give it a screen through. The length of the article was a turn off initially. But I ended up reading each and every single word written. The length was no longer an issue. The article mentioned a few verses from the Quran. One of them is 33:35 :') By the time I finished the article, I was in tears. InsyaAllah, I was being teary in a good kind of way. Aamiin. Selamat malam. Mudahan diri kitani semua sentiasa dekat dengan Allah SWT; dekat yang sebenar-benar dekat. Aamiin. Salaams xxx

That thing called HOPE, don't lose it!

"DO NOT ever lose hope in the mercy of Allah SWT. Keep making dua even if you go through your WHOLE life like that" - M. Alshareef

Terjatuh, tersungkur, tergugur, terkalah... inda apa. It is not the end of anything. Yang penting you have to bangkit semula, diri semula. It will be the end of everything if you stop trying. Keep the hope alive, do not stop making dua. Think well of Allah SWT, insyaAllah, everything will be well. Aamiin.

Tabahkan hati, kuatkan semangat :) I'm off to zZZzz (yes, at this hour. Cos I had probably less than 5 hours of sleep last night. Paying off the sleep debt now :P). Salaams.

:)

3 days ago (29/04) in London, Prince William married Kate Middleton.
Yesterday (01/05) in Pakistan, Osama bin Laden was declared dead.
Today (02/05), right now (2348 hours) in Brunei, I am still breathing :)

It is a one complicated temporary world. One thing happens after another. Apa apa pun, Alhamdullilah for everything.

Salaams sayang xxx

Butterflies

Feeling all tingly inside. Butterflies in my stomach.



This could not good.

Focus

Ibn al-Qayyim said: "Whoever wishes to purify his heart, then let him prefer Allah to his desires."

You have to remember that in the end of the day, you will be returning to Allah SWT. So why the need to get yourself attached to things/persons not worth attaching on to? Those worldly desires... you will never have enough of them. You get them done today. You will want to do more tomorrow. This world is a test. You have to win this test. Ask Him for strength, ask Him for guidance. He won't let you down. You know He won't let you down. He will be there, like He has always been.

You just gotta help yourself now. For how can you expect Him to help you if you don't try to help yourself first? Now do yourself a favour and STAY FOCUS. Remember that your aim is not here. Your aim is THERE.

Be a winner.

Bercinta Sampai Ke Syurga

"Tidakkah pelik jika ada pasangan hangat bercinta TETAPI tidak terfikir untuk bersama SELAMA-LAMANYA?" - Ustaz Hasrizal's Bercinta Sampai Ke Syurga

Deep words. Fikirkanlah...

Rasa cinta dalam hati Allah SWT yang hadirkan. Peliharalah ia, jagalah ia supaya ia kekal bukan di sini saja tapi sampai di sana jua, insyaAllah.

Salaams :) xxx